yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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