that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
and you fell through a lawn chair
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
