nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
