those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
