I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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