I need help removing her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
