was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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