i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
