If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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