No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just had sex bonerless
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
