i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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