I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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