Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Randomize