I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it hurts more in the daytime
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have post one night stand depression
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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