Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
