not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
