____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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