If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
