what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
