I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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