his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
