hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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