This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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