so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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