gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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