So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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