I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
