i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
