So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
