Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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