I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize