so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
