Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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