She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
