We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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