I got chris browned last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
