Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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