my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
