I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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