STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize