he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
