Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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