rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
love makes seman taste better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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