his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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