You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
