North Korea, Best Korea!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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