No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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