One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
