I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
