so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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