I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
