Just cropdusted the office
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
