I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
