So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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