the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
