I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
