for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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