Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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