HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
